Responding to (bad) feedback

Responding to (bad) feedback can be challenging. A few phrases can keep you in track to what really matters. This is a collection of phrases to help you rethink your answer.

Key phrases

I see where you’re coming from, but…
That’s a valid point, however…
That’s an interesting perspective. I had not considered that.
I appreciate your input, but…
Could you clarify your point about…?
I see your point, and I raise you this…
I hear you, but have you considered…?
Would you mind elaborating on…?
It’s worth considering that…
From my perspective…
Playing devil’s advocate for a moment…
Just to play back what you’ve said…
Let’s circle back to what was said earlier…
To build on your point…
Correct me if I’m wrong, but…
Can we take a step back and explore…?
How would you feel if we…?
Can we align on…?
What are your thoughts on…?
It’s important to keep in mind that…

Common mistakes

Some common mistakes to watch out for.

Misusing idiomatic expressions

Incorrect: “You really hit the nail on the head with your analysis, but it’s raining cats and dogs outside.” Correct: “You really hit the nail on the head with your analysis. The data supports your conclusions.”

Overusing or misplacing filler phrases

Incorrect: “Um, you know, I think, like, your presentation was, um, pretty good, you know?” Correct: “I think your presentation was well-structured and effectively conveyed the key points.”

Lacking clarity in feedback

Incorrect: “Your work needs improvement.” Correct: “Your work would benefit from more detailed analysis and supporting evidence.”

Neglecting cultural nuances

Incorrect: “Your idea is completely wrong.” Correct: “I appreciate your contribution, but I have a different perspective on this matter.”

Ignoring active listening

Incorrect: “That’s not true. Let me finish.” Correct: “I understand your point, and I’d like to add to the discussion by considering another aspect.”

Phrases explained

“I see where you’re coming from, but…”

Usage
- This phrase is a polite way to acknowledge someone else’s viewpoint while expressing a different opinion. It indicates that you understand their perspective and shows respect for their ideas, even if you don’t fully agree with them.
When to Use It
- You can use this expression when engaging in a discussion where different viewpoints are presented, or in a debate when you need to introduce a contrasting idea.
Examples
- “I see where you’re coming from, but wouldn’t it be more beneficial to diversify our investment portfolio?”
- “I see where you’re coming from, but I think we should prioritize the environment over short-term economic gains.”
- “I see where you’re coming from, but in my opinion, remote work increases productivity.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you are not interested in a constructive discussion or if the situation requires a direct or unequivocal response. This phrase might come off as dismissive or non-committal in situations that demand firmness.
Counterexamples
- “I see where you’re coming from, but let’s just do it my way.” This misuse can be perceived as dismissive and not valuing the other person’s perspective.

“That’s a valid point, however…”

Usage
- This phrase acknowledges the worthiness of another person’s argument, but also suggests that there’s more to consider or that you have a counterpoint.
When to Use It
- Use this expression when you want to recognize someone’s argument before introducing your perspective or when you want to suggest a different viewpoint.
Examples
- “That’s a valid point, however, we need to consider the financial implications.”
- “That’s a valid point, however, this strategy has worked well for us in the past.”
- “That’s a valid point, however, we should take into account the potential risks.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if the situation does not call for debate or if it’s inappropriate to question the validity of someone’s argument. Also, refrain from using this phrase when the other person’s point is not actually valid or relevant.
Counterexamples
- “That’s a valid point, however, I disagree.” Without adding any substantive reason for the disagreement, this usage can be seen as dismissive.

“That’s an interesting perspective. I had not considered that.”

Usage
- To appreciate another’s point of view, especially when it brings new information or a novel viewpoint to the conversation. It shows that you are open-minded and considerate of others’ thoughts.
When to Use It
- When someone offers an idea or perspective that you hadn’t previously considered.
Examples
- “That’s an interesting perspective. I had not considered that there might be other viable solutions.”
- “That’s an interesting perspective. I had not considered that angle in our marketing approach.”
- “That’s an interesting perspective. I had not considered the cultural implications of our decision.”
When Not to Use It
- Do not use this phrase if the perspective shared is not actually novel or insightful, as it could come across as insincere or sarcastic. Counterexamples
- “That’s an interesting perspective. I had not considered that the earth is flat.” Using this phrase in the context of a widely debunked theory may be interpreted as sarcasm.

“I appreciate your input, but…”

Usage
- To politely acknowledge someone’s contribution to a conversation before stating a different opinion or view. It helps to soften the blow of disagreement.
When to Use It
- When you want to politely express a different opinion or course of action.
Examples
- “I appreciate your input, but I believe that we need to consider other options before making a decision.”
- “I appreciate your input, but our data shows a different trend.”
- “I appreciate your input, but we need to stick to the original plan.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase when the other person’s input is not valuable or constructive, as this may come across as disingenuous. Additionally, avoid using it if you are not prepared to provide a well-thought-out counter-argument or alternative.
Counterexamples
- “I appreciate your input, but I don’t care about your opinion.” This misuse is disrespectful and contradicts the initial acknowledgment of their input.

“Could you clarify your point about…?”

Usage
- This expression is a polite way of asking for more information or a more detailed explanation. It indicates that you are engaged in the conversation and interested in fully understanding the other person’s viewpoint.
When to Use It
- When you need more information or when you don’t fully understand someone’s point.
Examples
- “Could you clarify your point about the potential risks of this investment?”
- “Could you clarify your point about the benefits of this marketing strategy?”
- “Could you clarify your point about the company’s future expansion plans?”
When Not to Use It
- Do not use this phrase if you intend to interrupt, dismiss, or belittle someone’s point, or if you’re not genuinely interested in understanding their perspective.
Counterexamples
- “Could you clarify your point about that, even though it doesn’t really matter to our discussion?” This misuse can make the person feel belittled or dismissed.

“I see your point, and I raise you this…”

Usage
- This phrase is a way to acknowledge another person’s viewpoint and then introduce your own idea or argument. It originates from the world of poker where a player “raises” the bet.
When to Use It
- Use this phrase in a discussion or debate to politely introduce a different or additional perspective after acknowledging the other person’s viewpoint.
Examples
- “I see your point about focusing on customer service, and I raise you this: we also need to consider the quality of our products.”
- “I see your point about saving money, and I raise you this: investing in new technology now can save us more money in the long run.”
- “I see your point about the environmental impact, and I raise you this: we should also consider the social and economic impacts.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you don’t actually understand or agree with the initial point, or if the discussion is not the right environment for a back-and-forth exchange of ideas.
Counterexamples
- “I see your point about your personal problems, and I raise you this: my problems are bigger.” This misuse can be seen as disrespectful and unsympathetic.

“I hear you, but have you considered…?”

Usage
- This phrase acknowledges that you have heard and understood someone’s viewpoint, then introduces another point or perspective for them to consider. It shows that you’re engaged in the discussion but also have more to add.
When to Use It
- When you want to introduce a new perspective or argument that may not have been considered yet.
Examples
- “I hear you, but have you considered the potential environmental impact?”
- “I hear you, but have you considered the financial implications of this decision?”
- “I hear you, but have you considered the potential backlash from customers?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you have not properly listened to or understood the other person’s point, or if your point is irrelevant or disrespectful.
Counterexamples
- “I hear you, but have you considered my feelings?” If used in a professional or logical debate, this misuse can come off as emotionally manipulative.

“Would you mind elaborating on…?”

Usage
- This phrase is a polite way to ask someone to provide more information or clarify a point. It indicates that you are interested in and value their input.
When to Use It
- When you need more information or would like a deeper understanding of a point someone has made.
Examples
- “Would you mind elaborating on your marketing strategy for next quarter?”
- “Would you mind elaborating on how you arrived at that conclusion?”
- “Would you mind elaborating on the potential risks involved in this approach?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you are not actually interested in the other person’s explanation or if it’s used as a way to sidestep or avoid a conversation.
Counterexamples
- “Would you mind elaborating on that, even though it’s not really relevant?” This misuse can come across as dismissive or sarcastic.

“It’s worth considering that…”

Usage
- To suggest a different perspective or idea that others might not have thought about. It suggests that the new idea is valuable and should be considered.
When to Use It
- Use this phrase to introduce a new idea or perspective in a conversation, meeting, or debate.
Examples
- “It’s worth considering that implementing a remote work policy could improve employee satisfaction.”
- “It’s worth considering that investing in renewable energy now could save us money in the future.”
- “It’s worth considering that our target market may change as a result of recent social trends.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if the point you’re suggesting is irrelevant, obvious, or if the context does not allow for open discussion.
Counterexamples
- “It’s worth considering that I am always right.” This misuse can come across as arrogant and unconstructive.

“From my perspective…”

Usage
- This phrase is a way to introduce your viewpoint or opinion on a subject. It shows that you are providing your personal perspective, which might differ from others.
When to Use It
- When you want to express your opinion or perspective in a respectful way, particularly in a discussion where various viewpoints are being shared.
Examples
- “From my perspective, we should focus more on customer satisfaction rather than just increasing sales.”
- “From my perspective, investing in training for our employees will improve their productivity and job satisfaction.”
- “From my perspective, we should focus more on sustainability and less on short-term profits.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you want to state a fact rather than an opinion, or in a situation where personal viewpoints are not appropriate or relevant.
Counterexamples
- “From my perspective, the earth revolves around the sun.” In this context, the misuse arises from stating a fact as an opinion.

“Playing devil’s advocate for a moment…”

Usage
- This phrase is used when someone wants to propose a different viewpoint for the sake of discussion or debate, even if it’s not their actual belief. It is a way of exploring other perspectives and stimulating a thoughtful conversation.
When to Use It
- When you want to present an alternative viewpoint or test the strength of an idea or argument in a conversation or discussion.
Examples
- “Playing devil’s advocate for a moment, what if we didn’t implement this new policy?”
- “Playing devil’s advocate for a moment, could our competitors interpret this move as aggressive?”
- “Playing devil’s advocate for a moment, are there potential downsides to this investment?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if the situation is sensitive or if the alternate viewpoint could be offensive or hurtful. Also, avoid using it if the discussion does not allow room for debate or differing viewpoints.
Counterexamples
- “Playing devil’s advocate for a moment, why even care about climate change?” This misuse can come across as insensitive or dismissive about a serious global issue.

“Just to play back what you’ve said…”

Usage
- This phrase is used when someone wants to paraphrase or repeat what the other person has said to ensure understanding or clarity. It is a way to confirm that you are accurately interpreting someone’s point.
When to Use It
- When you want to clarify someone’s point or ensure that you’ve understood their viewpoint correctly.
Examples
- “Just to play back what you’ve said, you’re suggesting that we pivot our strategy towards digital marketing?”
- “Just to play back what you’ve said, you’re worried about the potential risks associated with this project?”
- “Just to play back what you’ve said, you think we should invest more in employee training programs?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you’re not genuinely interested in understanding someone’s point, or if you use it to mock or belittle their ideas.
Counterexamples
- “Just to play back what you’ve said, you don’t know what you’re talking about, right?” This misuse is disrespectful and dismissive.

“Let’s circle back to what was said earlier…”

Usage
- To return to a previous point in the conversation that was left unresolved or needs more attention. It helps ensure that important points or issues are not overlooked.
When to Use It
- When a critical point in a discussion needs revisiting, or when an earlier comment needs further exploration.
Examples
- “Let’s circle back to what was said earlier about our budget constraints.”
- “Let’s circle back to what was said earlier about the new product launch.”
- “Let’s circle back to what was said earlier about the feedback from our clients.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if the point you’re circling back to is irrelevant, resolved, or if it interrupts the flow of the conversation unnecessarily.
Counterexamples
- “Let’s circle back to what was said earlier about what we should have for lunch.” This misuse distracts from a business discussion with an irrelevant topic.

“To build on your point…”

Usage
- This phrase is used when you want to add more information or ideas to what someone else has said. It indicates that you agree with their point and want to contribute to the discussion further.
When to Use It
- When you want to add to someone’s argument, proposal, or idea.
Examples
- “To build on your point about increasing sales, we could also consider enhancing our online presence.”
- “To build on your point about improving customer service, we could invest in training for our staff.”
- “To build on your point about sustainability, we could evaluate our supply chain for areas of improvement.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you are about to contradict or dismiss the initial point, or if you don’t have anything constructive to add.
Counterexamples
- “To build on your point, it doesn’t really matter.” This misuse contradicts the intention of adding valuable information.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but…”

Usage
- To express an opinion or understanding that you’re not completely certain about. It shows respect for the other person’s knowledge and gives them the chance to correct you if necessary.
When to Use It
- When you’re uncertain about your understanding or interpretation of a topic, or when you think someone else might have more accurate information.
Examples
- “Correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t our budget already been allocated for this quarter?”
- “Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t we going to delay the product launch until next month?”
- “Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the client ask for a different design?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you’re certain of your information, or if you use it to belittle or challenge someone else inappropriately.
Counterexamples
- “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t know what you’re talking about, do you?” This misuse is confrontational and disrespectful.

“Can we take a step back and explore…?”

Usage
- To suggest that the conversation or decision-making process needs to be slowed down to consider all aspects or alternatives more thoroughly.
When to Use It
- When you feel that a discussion is moving too quickly, or important factors are being overlooked.
Examples
- “Can we take a step back and explore the potential impacts on our team?”
- “Can we take a step back and explore other marketing strategies?”
- “Can we take a step back and explore the possible risks of this approach?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if it disrupts the flow of a productive conversation or if it’s used as a stalling tactic without a constructive purpose.
Counterexamples
- “Can we take a step back and explore why I don’t want to do any work?” This misuse shows a lack of motivation and is not productive.

“How would you feel if we…?”

Usage
- To gauge someone’s reaction or feelings about a proposal or idea. It shows respect for their opinion and encourages them to share their thoughts.
When to Use It
- When you want to propose an idea or plan and get feedback from others.
Examples
- “How would you feel if we implemented a remote work policy?”
- “How would you feel if we tried a new marketing approach?”
- “How would you feel if we increased our sustainability efforts?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you’re not interested in the other person’s feelings or opinion, or if the decision has already been made and is not up for discussion.
Counterexamples
- “How would you feel if we ignored your ideas?” This misuse is disrespectful and discourages open discussion.

“Can we align on…?”

Usage
- To reach agreement or mutual understanding on a topic or issue. It indicates a desire for everyone to be on the same page.
When to Use It
- When you want to ensure that everyone agrees or understands a particular point or plan.
Examples
- “Can we align on the goals for this project?”
- “Can we align on the deadlines for this quarter?”
- “Can we align on our strategy for the upcoming campaign?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you’re trying to force agreement rather than facilitate open discussion, or if the topic is not relevant to everyone involved.
Counterexamples
- “Can we align on the fact that I’m always right?” This misuse is arrogant and unproductive.

“What are your thoughts on…?”

Usage
- To ask someone for their opinion or perspective on a particular topic. It encourages them to share their thoughts and contributes to an open discussion.
When to Use It
- When you want to encourage others to share their views or when you value their perspective on a particular subject.
Examples
- “What are your thoughts on our new project proposal?”
- “What are your thoughts on our company’s current direction?”
- “What are your thoughts on the feedback we received from our customers?”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase if you’re not genuinely interested in the other person’s opinion or if you’re using it as a setup to criticize or dismiss their thoughts.
Counterexample
- “What are your thoughts on something I don’t care about?” This misuse is dismissive and does not contribute to a constructive conversation.

“It’s important to keep in mind that…”

Usage
- To remind others of an important factor or consideration. It emphasizes that certain information should not be forgotten or overlooked.
When to Use It
- When you want to highlight a critical consideration or fact that others should remember.
Examples
- “It’s important to keep in mind that our budget is limited.”
- “It’s important to keep in mind that our team is already under a lot of pressure.”
- “It’s important to keep in mind that our decision will impact our customers.”
When Not to Use It
- Avoid using this phrase to bring up irrelevant information or if it is used to unnecessarily repeat well-known facts.
Counterexamples
- “It’s important to keep in mind that I don’t like early morning meetings.” This misuse is not constructive and focuses on personal preference rather than important information.

References

https://blog.lillypad.ai/advanced-english-expressions-for-giving-and-receiving-feedback-in-social-situations/
- The entire post is an extract of this longer post